This Carousel's Not Stopping!

The golden curtains are no longer there
The clouds so gay now smothered in smog
And the tears of goodbye have lost their uses
As I sit and weave this mull of mud

Yes, I’d heard the songs of all twilight
Sung by the birds before their bedtime
But then this me kept asking myself
“What are you here for? Why are you here?”

I wish I did have the answers to give them
Or maybe some means to silence myself?
For I’ve oared and rowed this way yet again
But now the dykes are giving away!!!!

This silent thing, this diamond of soot
What must I call it? What could it be?
Like the hospital I walked out in some of my dreams
Yet still no more I could fathom this life

Is this maturity? Is this my new door?
Or could this be veils of madness be coming?
Many questions I’ve met than answers I’ve sought
Could reality not be what I’d hoped it to be?

And now this trek had strayed off my path
I do hope that someday I could get back at me
A wreck, a jerk, insecure and falling
Somebody stop me, this carousel’s not stopping!

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR
30th December 2004