The Closing Of A Chapter Of My Life Part 1

Tonight may not be the day
Tomorrow may not be in my possession
My last goodbye, oh this may not be so feasible
But to see another day would that be too real?

For what am I living this day to day reality's for?
For I have no money to make them all float!
And I have no friends that aren't wolves in sheep's clothing!
So tell me now to whom should I be thankful for, for this past 14 years?

I know that I should have lost my sanity a long time ago but strangely I didn't
And how I've stopped wondering but always I'm in the know of all this!
And how, oh how tired I've been to know oh so obviously that nobody really cares
And how to be reminded always of the oh so cruel my world had been to my life!

Fools only have known that they are not in the known world
But strangely so friendly of the Death that they so scaredly
For what am I feeling all this at 5 o'clock in the morning for?
I have no friends honest enough to care of what I'm not caring anymore!

For I'm way beyond the point of no return this time
This old signpost I've passed but of since I've forgotten
And suicide is a mere child's play compared to the pain I've felt
And sanity is a luxury unaffordable like everything else in this damn town!

So what now do you think that I've not eaten?
The taste of fine elegy or the whip of dark poverty?
Failing to understand that there's no more hope left for me?
Or maybe that I'm actually here for a purpose after all?

Ah, just ignore the last question if you really are a hypocrite!
For I've lived the two suns and the two moons for far too long!
And life is a leech that's always latching onto me for all my juices!
And Death is no more a reprieve like a mother's dementia advising all glory!

So stop shouting these un-words to my ears for once now will you?
For I'm tired of living in tolerance of your deafening silence
I don't need your help like the dead needs any eulogy
Nor do I need a healing touch that felt like the plague!

And stop burying me with your reality for once you idiot!
For I know very well where you're leading me
And I know them very well for I taught you these things
So leave me in peace or leave me to rot

For either way I've won my damnation and you've lost your salvation
And we've both lost the will to live and let live
So now let us pray to whomever we believe or want to believe
For we are not in it for the last of the sunset

And we're not in it...for we are never here in the first place!

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
KL
2010