Twilight Of My Youth Part 2 - The Road And The Fiery Heart

I watched, as the years passed me by
How I'm still in search, in here and in there
Of the purpose of my birth, my solid existence
And my role of this lifetime that often eluded me

But a conversation with someone from my past awakened me
Telling me that I was more than I could have ever been
And that I still am inside, that I could still be forever
And that God has given me these not to be so ever wasted!

So here before a raging bonfire of the spirit, I sighed
Not at all at its majesty or luminous sheen
But at the sky that framed it in the background
The darkened void in the wake of the twilight

The twilight of my youth...

Yes, the twilight that I once mourned
Till the moon turned red and my heart turned black
And mourned it all with my losses both real and fantasized
Till came a time I've forgotten that these aren't the only things I could do!

Yes, I sighed not at all in contempt, or to mock its God-given existence
But rather, I'm mocking and pitying myself all at once, my poor twisted self
For I suddenly realized that I've awoken up from a very dreamless sleep
A sleep of damning proportions that had gripped at my youth, my golden youth

And how I wished that I should have awakened now much more earlier than this!

But now, long after I've said my dark goodbyes to my darkened days called the past
I now realized, where all my roads do lead me from now, from here
From this even darker junction that I once so horribly scared to tread or face!
To move on, to move my dimmed heart and hopes within towards the ever-cherished light

And what is much more important now is, is that I now know which road is best to take
Which road would lead me back to the golden light, far beyond the vermillion sunset
The roar of the roads less travelled that I once recalled I took it in in such sheer hastiness
But now I did know, that this truly is the right road that I've rightfully taken!

So now now longer will I be
The Silent Traveller of Many Sad Stories
But rather, the jovial wise man of many a story
On his quest to tell it all, from here and now until forever...

And for I have chosen this path, and this bonfire it lit
So glorious so bright till death would I part
And to this I kiss with love and with passion
For the writer has now has will to live!

Thank You God, for everything...

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR
KL
2010