Without Bliss

Somedays there will be snow, other days there will be laughter and the light

And then there will be days of silent contemplation, of seeing things as they are

And then there will be darkness and gloom, and everything's tainted with doom

Then comes quiet again, as the light falls into the west for one more trip in the night...

End this way all of us, under the weight of another silent suffocation, drowned, airless

Not the awning of anticipation be they for nothing but our hopes, or else soiled be unfeeling for all

Dealing with naught but for the follies for fools withheld therewith, but am I really that forgiving to be with?

Said who about me that I've forgotten about the pain and the punishment unjust unto me and my dreams?

Why can't that be me who is singing in joy before every swing of the swing?

Where else but in this gleaming field in my mind that I promised me that I might get back what I've lost?

Indeed this is the time to silently take a long hard look at life from where none might ever espy or suspect

Oh prithee what would I do without you dear God, what would I'd be amounted to now without bliss?

Falling away like snowflakes in the gust of such cold snapping breeze

Emissary of eviction from the mind that's since much stabled, or enabled

Might all this be melting away come the smiling green spring, one would think?

Or lest we'd be better off sitting in the sun for all of our days, thinking about the glowing...

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

A Smile Through The Winter Of Humanity

I may not have all the answer for ills, nor have I the power to set everything right

Merely a blip in the radar of consciousness, trying to find its bearing in the sea of purpose

So maybe there were times when I feel that there was never a reason visible enough for me

To tell me alive that I'm doing it good, and that it is all going to be all right in the end

The ending, ah, such majestically sweet and sorrowful it must have been to me once

When all I've seen did turn to dust and left me weeping, leering for some escapism

Slitting my wrists in agony as I traded one pain for another and another in jest

And how it's still very much too near the experience for me, oh frailty begotten

If so then maybe there is such a time of darkness and cold that envelops the collective conscious

To make me believe that Humanity is merely but a very big family, replete with our ups and downs

And for the umpteenth time I have tried to explain it all to me, and to us all, for what I've seen by me

That maybe this darkness may well be a nuclear winter for the lack of better word, but how we're still so young!

Oh Humanity, we are indeed still young and foolish, and our world is bigger and gets bigger still

When come millennia they would make us old, and wiser perchance, but lest we did forget

That we are but a part of a greater whole, destined to wield this wheel of the world by God

And here be but a gift, a present on my part, of a smile for a moment and a moment for a smile...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

Truth In Binding

Arriving, at the mights of late November

Carrying the wind that heals my forthcoming

A lightless path holding my sway, blessing the way

And forever in blessedness my pain dries up

So this swing of the maytime cared this so much my heart of much blood

But no more would I bleed for those who pissed, lest they're all be damned or worse

So would I now be going to December for writhing in this ember? I think not!

For no worse would I suffer for poisons meant for others, no more would I drink it!

Assailants, repelled, undwelled, corralled, marauders calling home

Appalling, conniving, humanity's blessed blackness, eschewed

Bored writings, shortcomings, deriding no more mine world

Eloping, malprancing, I declare betwixt me walls with saneness

And the dead shall inherit none of me, for those fools in humanity comprehend me not

But no more shall I shed my souls for them drudges, fraught caring no sharing in stupid profaning

Then vomits me dirges made out of blood, this wayward son is fatherless once more

For the dead is the race that has no inkling, as to why they are damned for all their worth...

Upswinging, right staging, denouement flights so enough of this nonsense false waking!

In aeternum, great corundum, for now my revenge is no longer on the mindless

Freaking trysts, mother's lice, I meant what I say for when you are the stupid

Endless nothing, truth in binding, my life's more precious than your idiotic presence!

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

A Frailty Unmasked At The End Of October

So this is it, the endtime for the lost and the toast of the town, each bearing different faces yet none may tell what's in their hearts

For the swelling frosty inwards of a time for introspection, a frailty unmasked at the end of October for another pint of sorrow

And I am the darkness therewith, and this is my song herewith, for flowing inasmuch as a sham in the coming winter, unprepared at most

As such is the price to pay for living one's life like one wants to, a cradle of distending upturning for another frozen asset, unthawed 'til sunrise...

And for every eternity there is to which this unseamly smile it attaches onto forthwith, then none may ever hopefully discover me among the floes

For a ride in the frozen tears I have no longer a need to be human, yet I am forced still to become one for as long as I look like one

A favour ensnaring to know that it's all false, that all that I have are mere fantasies at best laid warm and gooey for some dinner served

Inwarding rewarding for cruelty of authority written not on stone, but to remember where is it that my slumber lies, like forewarnings in snow...

For last, if only there'd be a resignation letter best reserved for the likes of one so done with humanity, then let me be the one to raise my black pen

For a signature at best or caricatures for rest I don't even think I could care this much anymore when comes the newer sunrise, or the ones afterwards

And it is a nuisance indeed that my helping of myself in blasphemy of a perpetual nurture it only resulted in me living longer on this earth, minus the warmth

For what rules or what edicts pray tell that should bind me still to this mockery of Life, for better I be dead that being alone in spiritual poverty, for better or for worse...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO
KL
2013

My Whispered Sweet Nostalgia

Unpay my restless plethora, of which no words be on no tongues can speak about it well

For this be the time I pay my homage, to the fall of every season, to the fall of every warmth

Be they in hearth or in the heart, for this be art of suffering in silence and the silenced, death of kindness

And in the depth of every shadows can you see me singing in the rain of ordained hopes and its aftermath?

And so I lament and rue the day of when I did leave nothing and crave but the grime of humanity, sanctioned

But never was I praised and raised above the pulpit of so many great heroes, nor was I anointed anyway better

Thus to the tolling sound of bells from belfries no longer serving this humanity can I be seen playing with demise

For this be the chance for the undead and the savage to serve their purpose under the arrival of the dark times...

Oh so damned this me for listening to this cadence of enraptured hollowed despair yet time and again

And so I left this valley of mourning once again, how ironic to think that I find pleasure and hope

In the month that's known for its longest night of the year, the all hallows eve prevailing inside me!

Oh loneliness does have a stack of cards up his sleeve, playing for dead or paying for debts...

And this me, he waivers as he says "I send thee flowers my lovely autumn gaze!"

To the look of stones adorning the panorama, oh such wonderful glee this depression it brings!

And look, the candles are all lit for the season! Oh mirth and merriment absolving chaos, at last!

And this me, he is merely a lilting note on the acoustic guitars from gypsies' music carried by ages!

Thus I send these flowers into the skies so crisp with the cold, that turns to seed for another winter's sigh

That culminates on me strongly with each passing age I spend on this planet, so miraculous yet dead afore

The time so precious is like a plaything for me the one with none but dust in his coffer of stones and faces

Ah, such life indeed this ilk of empirical notation for a lost merrymaking session, for the darkness within...

SAIF MINTAKA
KL

2013

Heroes Forged From Nothing

This hymn so mighty dark I've said so many yet none did see where it all went at

Alighted and much strayed I scoured the land for markings of pleasure singed with pride

Yet neither do I nor those above would know or care whereas the bottom feeder sighs

And this be me the silenced yet mobile he prowled the streets of quintessential boon!

To this dank evening I sat on my seat before a white tube to see if I can still make any sense of it all

Afraid far out of nothing I'm writing still my pondering and laments rolled into one, this faithful bored weblog

As if another chimeric angel he'd swoop down from the above carrying news of gold and good tidings

But alas nothing but spirits and elementals they did wave at me from the background as if a mischief intending!

And now this September is well on its way to the coldest time of the year

Yet warm and cynical I'd feel in jest, pouring as I said to myself, "To hell with everything!"

And this wealthy kind kindred stirring he'd douse everything up in colliding accolades

Of heroes forged from nothing from this conquest of empty, green laurels of derision!

Ah so fine did I feel my ridicule of favours from people far out-of-place beyond reality

But never for too long did I intend to punish myself indefinitely prithee! For the love of me!

For an empath am I much spoken this me he feels indeed like a filter of humanity thrice damned

For humanity is anagram for refuse and much faeces, and be damned this me if he feeds again!

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

In Hushed Up Melancholy

Another pain, another sweet edges of a frail bitter fruit intuited

That this me he construed with nobody to build a better tomorrow

But neither here nor there at last for the dreams made to suffer in silence

That nay this me would he admit defeat to foes that were all made up

So now wherefores and whys are no longer needed in the realm where I'm now at

For rest assured that this me he had seen the light of day and had cherished the nights betwixt

Saved for the sullen saviour faced to him needing pride too damn much, this much I'd vouchsafe

All through the lilting agony of a madrigal played on graveyard of dreams, and tombs of smiles

And thrilling was the word that escaped me for when the acoustic guitars they did play on my laments

Freeing and a-freezing might night time be but never were they any colder than a minstrel in tears for a song

For I am but a silenced bard of many a tale that none may want to hear, for fear of truths being kept at bay

Till forever may it shake me off from my brooding, and lather me in hope for once, or at least some other solaces...

And here I am but standing again as the tears they fall from the minstrel's eyes for a company of sorrow

Unleashed far out of favours for a crowd of nothing, an encore enshroud in silence, and a wager made with oneself

Thus maltreating me with flushing of pleasure as the luthier he played september forever in the rapture of serenity enshrined in the morose, the quickening and the fleeting

To pay homage to this moss covered edifice from a bygone era as we dance together in hushed up melancholy, all the way to the light...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

From Eternity Blasphemed In Glee

Avowed, for the end of this season may it be that this sinuating thoughts of darkness be it departing to the red night sky anon

For this better than anyone else he sang a song sung backwards, sooner the better than to be dead for another time's unspent well to be smothered in turfs

For a kiss from the never was and never will be soulmate that everyone wants one but too scared to get out and find her again

Lest there'd be blessings that one can never ever know of, unless he or she pounced upon it in nightmares or bad-luck a-streaking!

And then this bastardised swords of old ancient myths they did show me glimpses of paranoia laced with terror

For this wanting of a home with money and wealth and happiness and care they're still on my agenda of to-do list before I die

And dying may not be good an idea for now as he walks the earth as an undead much noble and so savage well at the same time

A mozzarella a-nogging on the head of infinitesimal possibility to an unknown godhead unsmashed yet cursed upon still

So let us now prey for a better nutrient than this meat unspeakable yet relished by the masses as if orcs and uruk-hais in black ties feasting at midnight

For I am a vegetable untainted on my podium of frozen local produce trying to tell the world to love each other yet I'm revamped as yet

And I am much too bored to become a messiah for fallen statues cracked deaf and blind yet again, for falling in love with myself a crime of black passion

Yet it felt so good to walk the earth a vagrant out of love and out for lust again,  so much so that nobody in their right mind would want to listen to me now!

Thus for raptures left out of spirits then let me be with my faithful departed and beheaded for sins made of gold and black ivory again

For the world has never changed its stance for words much too cruel for these the people in their cosy bubbles fearing a pop

And yes, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that watching them living in fear and paranoia didn't bequeath me some roses for sure

For this lasting feeling of fleeting discomfort I am here with God feeling and so reeling from eternity blasphemed in glee, so let it all pass before I now but passes!

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

In Seasons So Demised

Go shield on the gilded path, dear troubled soul, and may you make it good the time of your life

An island so tainted in there the troubles did so not dwell on the minds of the elite, or else foregone

And here be nowhere and here be dragons, for within this me a dark and dreary tunnel lit with hope

And within you a smart mild mannered man with tears of scarlet be wary of fear for the stormy sunrise

Forgive me my beloved, for my love is misconstrued

Torn from the loved and the thrice much corroded

But I promise you that my damned soul be be availed by the winged whites

And I shall hold you in my arms once more, as we fall again, decidedly...

Go, make haste this beauty, for this the chance for Divinity too much sore

Raid, make waste thy piety, for this the damned demands a sacred lore

Wail, be free all black chains, arise and claim your place in perusals betwixt

Rain, for much left unsaid, be soon or vacate my savage halls, to no ends anon

Be still my undying heart, to this the twinkling lights of melody shall shine pianoforte

Or reach out for the wreaths where last I saw prayers, came buried in the seas for fiestas inverted

And there my Queen, now dance and be lighted like a sage on fire or raged pontificate, where the wild roses wilted

For there is no time or space or gods or demons can save us now from our vanquished reason, to celebrate grim loving in seasons so demised...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

Stairways Of The Spirits

I'm sending my plight, to the stairways of the spirits, for this me he thirsts for redemption, for salvation from stains or sins dark aplenty

To this me he knows of the detriments, of the pain and punishment yet he planted himself still in the pages of snow-white supplicants

For the still nights of prayers coldly departed and it parted with him, this might not be him but none might know of what he treasures still

Such amorphous cold slighted but hopeful a bit, far beyond all hopes yet he'd still take the plunge to where it all be glowing still

Oh hail thee white angels a-faring but for Death he'd be but my Guardian, I never would have guessed in a million lifetimes of what I'm supposed to be in the eyes of Divine

A heraldry of sunshine or maybe a chance for revisions, how I'd give to get back into the light, lest we'd all forget of the source of forgiveness, and perchance feigned reverence

Tintinnabulating in between a glint of small tear-drops, or the wails of lost in-decadence, for why did this such innocent child be a demon menace now?

Another sad voiceless soul trekking in between the rail-roads of forever to get back at where the junction that splits him in half in aeternum

Now no more moans or laments or sighs be of a value still altogether for when he the nothing wend back to the start that could never welcome him again

Or could this be just another wrong turn that he'd gladly feel not to be his one and only bane in the world at large? Good enough for him to turn around again?

Oh how tired it is to see these gleaming neat notions of insipid past it came back to inundate him for this be a warrior much choked around him by the past!

And thus I would come to a conclusion amidst these uncaring silence

That forever I shall pay my dues to the One Above from start till the end

To make me a place to lay my head on for when the dark hits me high again

So as much to withstand the test of time on this moment of the edge of the finite...

 SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2013

Travellers In The Road Of Life

Alone...desperate for the light...intangible from darkness, embalmed!

In here there is nothing, in here there is the void, and I am the keeper of darkness, so wretched

And none has so did come passing here of late, pay me a coin to let me now take them

Instead all alone, for the borrowed time of much pondering now here I speak again!

I hear lots of more stuff than most humans do, the sun, the moon, they speak to me still

And me to them, all of them from earth and heaven, yet I am still alacking in something

Or maybe something is alacking in me, to the whims of the fancy or the hushed and ineffable?

Ordained and in a search, along these dark cold alleys where even the dead can get lost?

Forlorn for this is me, in high thrones of darkness or glancing the throes of dawning figures

Portraying the realm of where I did dwell, in all but a word and that word is but death!

Or this me he'd waltz on the floors of chequered in aeternum, for lasting brief impression

Amidst the dancing of surrogate selves in their quest for monthly wages, spurned by pain

O muses of the hour still sequenced friends, help me in debunking this mythic fright silence

For all the corralled indignant deranged mud boffin I'd scour the land for a piece of glass again

Ensuring disharmony in dimness in check, lest they'd all be leased to grieve the new demoting?

Or hallowed may it be shall I address this me for when the angels did dance, in hazy pitch black mornings?

Oh me, inhale thee now this pride of worth a shilling, for there's no sense in crying for as long as you're walking

In truth that this trek did we choose for us and suits us well for when did we last checked, a vagabond through minefields

For only did pride did our way so wrong to as before the limelight switched, for you know it very well that none would understand us?

And so make sure that this curtain call be the last of our journeys delayed, for only the road would it sustains us, and only the road would it makes us remember

That we are but Travellers in the Road of Life
With some are best kept quiet and stilled, pray tell forever
And some might not even know of what happened at all!

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

Your Divine Secret

I heal the seal of magick, from the depths of karma so sickeningly spot-on

Of what has happened not exactly what I wanted but hey, who would suspect much?

And now I believe that this month I kid you not that I hate you God, of why do I feel that everything that I do

Would materialize in an instant in the form of that sickeningly pissed-off feeling that you're toying with my fate again?

God, why must everything feels upside down or unhatched at best, whenever I pulled an awkward stunt with a member of humanity

Though its not really that big of a deal to me, but hey, why do You have to reset all my Providence button just like that?

Why didn't You understand that all this are just human mishaps, a misadventure at worst, but to You, You just have to make me suffer out of one teensy-weensy bit of mistake

While at the same time You tell the masses that You are not cruel and petty, how many faces do You have, huh?

God, I hate You, I really hate it when everytime it happens, instead of giving me a time-out to feel sorry and grieve for what I've done

You only made it worse by making the situation turning into an analogy of a gigantic pressure cooker, in which my only way of repenting is to beat myself blind

Quadrupled to that when the pressure now it cooks me, the more intense I shall punish myself, while You did nothing but watch me acting all so stupid!

I can't believe You could be that cruel! Why can't you just let me suffer my awkward moments in silence? Why must you intensify my already tormenting atonement acts?

Enough! I've had enough of these schmucks, dear God, please, stop doing that! You're supposed to be my shoulder to cry on, my bosom to weep at my failures and not this!

You're making me feel more and more of imagining You in my mind as a sick entity who loves to torture penitent people instead of raising their face back to Heaven, You sicken me, You got that? You do!

Now go and find some other means to torment me for whatever that I've said in here out of all honesty, and let me remember that it was You who told me that honesty was a part of Your Divine Secret

What could be more truthful than that, dear God? Why is it that it feels so wrong for me to feel bad for my mistakes and then You came and make it worse?

Prove to me that I'm wrong to think of You this way!

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

This Paper Of Sand And Dust

So alone...no where to go...no reason to live

Here in this midnight...where silence plays a tune

Forlorn in a minute...a longing...this dance of shadows

The blatant truth of gone...still singeing my soul

The hum of the fan...the glowing white monitor

This worn out keyboard...and cans of deep drink

A saviour of tomorrow...but sorrow eats emptiness

The dining...the writhing...and the pining...in my dark room

The dream that goes to nowhere...the faith in God afar

Of where and when and why... and society that stays so shut

To whom should I send this rambling...how far can I go from here?

So long have I but scribbled...on this paper of sand and dust...to what ends?

How long now...must I keep on living...must I keep on wishing

And to hold the sky...falling backwards...what ill-willed fate is this?

I sense no lifeline...blank beckoning...false hopes...pouncing on dirt...

Till all are but carvings...intaglios...on this stone of a heart...

Killing hopes...wishing death...biding time...

Feeling lost...breaths of pain...then came demise

Wrapped in insolence...flown by deception

And in the end...there's destiny...unneeded...

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2013

This Road Of Hell And Heaven

Cold, I'm feeling cold, inside this midnight hour of another day of sacrament, a moment for the blessed yet the world sleeps still

And here I did tally, on how my mind rallies, to finish this musing of poetic inspired, all riled up to the end as the night time progresses

A monster habit in a silent obsession, to see the world like others don't, and even more defined my senses it seems to be tonight

For on this chair before the glowing screen I'm feeling the blessed, such is the night for the one without sleep, without aim

And now as this sweetly breezing night flow caresses me whole, I slip slide and wonder for what this month brings, of all for the letter or maybe sight better

In the fetter of the moment till my rising comes, oh shame now thee the night for failing to conjoin me! For I am icy so long much even the angels still dance, then cower in darkness for nightly delights!

As such that this me till pining for salvation did knock him to senses, for a fleeting of solace to the highest forgiveness, deep through the heart so honest and justly

That he was never fond of his God but he loves that Guy still, through which much madness and bliss had they'd come be staying, for as long as he could call them!

And so I may now free myself from saying that this bondage, this bond between worlds of the living and the fantasy of the few, can't keep up feeding my wrath to let go

For within now between me and God they keep coming for more till I never saw heaven the same, fuelled up and roaring as the fan spinning next to me, agape and breezy

So that I can never stop finding in this short lifetime of mine, the way to the salvation truthful, from this many so fake and even more I can take

Till the end of this month for another happy one, as this one with all spirit he laughs not and smiles less, for this road of hell and heaven so flatlined since, for he knows that he can't go back there no more...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

Where I've Lost It All

In the ream of delusional winter light's subdued, neither do I know nor did the world at large ever acknowledged the act of death of hope

For I am a child who is playing all by himself under a grey blue curtain of a certain becoming afternoon, dwelling on his own fantasy in the face of all apathy

I cannot imagine how he would grow up inside this whole other head in another universe whereas yours truly he died yet again for another day in reality enveloped

Feet, for this feat of courage to keep on hurting his already broken heart by the world that once welcomed him, now let him be like some unpopular piece of furniture!

Oh such poison I'd be writing again for as these words now they'd take me, I can never aloud be much saying that this is I on a wild and sombre fancy free outing from the past

For this summer's silent agony of within for without here I am so walking aimlessly in the sun waiting for another sensation to come

Or lest one could forget that it is here that this boy split apart to become a pair, of each they'd live in different worlds and destined never to meet

And this might be the next sad story of ages if only the author lives long enough to even begin the telling, forever he's bound for essential anathema from evils untold

Then swing low now, my friends, for only I am the one who exists among us all, for the rest are but figments of loneliness carved into reveries

That neither ghosts nor creatures of the night be they dare to commit to light this fear of the unknown, for a loathing that would kill even the ugliest of truths, this much is true

And dour was the lightning that struck in the midnight hour of this attic where humanity forgot, my childhood oedema untreated till festered to be a man so hateful of society

And remarkable it is to know that all these while I would only tread the dark and light so clear and smooth like a funeral on whitest snow, lest condemning be my fantasies till never will they find, where I've lost it all...

Good Night.

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

Hymns of A Dragon Lancer Part 4

The Wise Dragon's Musings

Forsooth so it's true, that some foul demon king had laid waste the lands and subjugated those royals

And another no less true, that I've been forewarned about the search for the one who could defeat that thing

But how oh how could I imagine the means to obtain, that one awesome weapon that bears my great skills

Without much brave souls to cower and run, before my meagre yet gargantuan sight?

For this be the Grand Under King of Gormbrakh the Third, forger/keeper of the Lights Unforeseen

The grand lance of steel and much more white magick, crafted by many moonbeams and even more eclipses

Made from the star that travels in tails, of pieces they glowed, placed on five altars on some sacred Solstice

Of this much that I've laboured, yet no thanks and what's more, they deemed me a menace, no respects still as yet!

And thus have I waited, through peace and accords, and madness and betrayal, such games not so good

Where these humans and these fey folks, through their dancing and prancing and still some more stabbing

I did sigh for more and much boredom for the time when this dark beats all midnight, and buried all hopes

In my humble low kingdom, of deep underground, where dwarves and stink trolls still dig up in greed

And fires and heat they'd be dancing around me, aflame still my throne as I gleam on my treasures

Kish-Maena his name did once tried a parley, an accord for all the treasures so dark, but then I said no

His anger and madness, no sense as to me, for none may did know, that I know of his past, and he of mine

Of creatures of Balance, this Universe at large, for one drop of light, another be darkness, such is the Law

And thus we could not disrupt that great Seal, and so I shall wait, for this hero to come!

The One who will come, to redress injustice, undo that's of darkness, and save the lands for future messes

When even the Monarchs might do little to save but their world, I shall put my faith and hope, for a championship blessing

To whoever be so worthy as to find my being here, and read all my rules, and play but my quests (may God they succeed)

And so I did say, whatever needs saying, so be off now with you, sad bards in heralds, lest you'd become, my snack of the day?

Heheheh...

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

Of Wordplays And Nonsense...

Feeling quiet but never too alone, to feel this warmth of a glowing screen

And then this wind it comes to turn this smog around, of fine grey smoke from not so wide

To dust off the place where tempers might flare again, oh indeed this world it begets so much less

As less as this man-made concoction thrice ferrous made black goo, my ever popular caffeine whims

So where was I when the sips I'd take, then there again my glowing white screen

Of things unimportant and deadlines non-existent, now such be the case of loving myself

But merely of stuff inverted from mind much felt inwards, that I'd carry on these mindless tinkling

To fulfil not lust but maybe much whims, of wordplays and nonsense all rolled into one!

And thus may this night be me sane for a sigh, from wretched misadventures oh Life why be cruel?

For maybe come tomorrow may my sanity be but sleep? For depravity of chastity to reasons or will?

And so let me weep or dance in delight for this night time be mine, through wind or haze or things so sullen

To the edges of lightlessness or maybe cold salvage, my disenchanted breeze through the time of wisps

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2013

Yet Another June Entry, For Better Or For Worse

Indeed there is no best way to face the modernity of Life other than based on what decision we took when it chanced upon us

For this may be the end of us or maybe the beginning of yet another ending, for with it comes everything that might shake up our very existence

Oh forsooth that these miraculous inventions, far-fetched innovations and avant-garde way of thinking be they blowing at me like some noxious smokestack

Of veiled deceptions and weak conceptions how I blaze through the sky in search of a new home, away from the neon lights and buzzing nights

And far, far away my journey would take me as to where utopia or sane euphoria be they existing still for humanity to at least share

For within this me this soul still yearns for peace and stability of those ruined old countries called the Past, where things are done differently

And things turned out differently but hey, who cares for at least they still know what humanity is, unlike these faceless people on the net

And so I really need to stop right here right now, lest I'd be yammering about the state of the shrinking universe and society yet again!

SAIF MINTAKA
KL

2013

June Entry From The Unmistakable Poet

So here I am again, in the crossroad of uncertainty

Viewing life as it go forth between yesterday and today

Without a moment of respite, or glimpses of relief in sight

Mere gestures of a latent sigh of contemplation, reserved at best

So what price the value of society when all that I have, they trashed it at whim?

And who am I a fighter so lost and tired, bruised but undying to do with all this?

To now and forever did I serve to remind the sky that I shall always be out here trying to touch it

But who am I to know there are so many of those who would bring me down just to feel good about it?

Oh woe me for not understanding the indignity of humanity and of indignation unworthy of my time for them

But still this me he feels his life to be, a one long joyride from nowhere to nowhere, with pit-stops not present

And what am I to love for the beauty of conformity that they've offered at and preached at me yet again?

Another vile mishaps happening for a reason or perhaps a condescending mental tryst between God and His mindless creation?

Oh well, for all the slamming of the doors from fools too spineless to confront me after all these years

How am I given to laughter yet again for at least I know that there are others much more worthless than me!

And to niggling tomfoolery will this magnanimous nothing of a crown made of soot be to those without courage

For this great big me he cares not for weakling undermining and unwarranted existence of another human being, good riddance for once!

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

I'll Leave You At That!

Forthwith disarray but arranged much obliged for this pamper of a leper endeavoured to reap the sky still

But none too enmeshed for tallying to dead notes, enamoured by sunset streaks forerunning the course 'till heaven's swept clean

Oh dour why sour the mash on the hops of a frog when the dusk entails one's love to swing out of balance?

But maybe just let me look on Life empowered so fresh let's leap to the sky or keep it that way...

And me for this me let this me make much clear that I am not yet so much as to stop my fights or flights for a better today!

For it's far beyond a farce to think that lowly me could ever make up for the loss of one's spine or lack of backbones

Forsooth for this me is still sharp from the last battle but with thirst for sadistic wordplay still not far from his mind

Oh well absolutely much thanks that this path of his it contains no more of cadavers that would stop him with stench, try me for size!

And so I would once again try to resume my walk home that even that I didn't know how it looks like

For some reason or another the future is never for anyone of us to see in its entirety, damn it but true

And so do take my regards and shove them to wherever it is in this God-forsaken land that one sees fit

For I am definitely out of here before anything bad happens to enchant me, to explain much too plain so I'll leave you all at that!

Good Night.

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

Foreign Words For Foreign Worlds

Oh the sheer sense of agony far be reaching for the stars on the day when the light stands still

Far below the glowing sun of another hot evening indisposed towards humanity

Of hatred construed but forever not rude enough for me to return to the start

Oh sins of thy beloved where else can you be when the world stabs you still?

Now oh look at me, all alone face upward looking towards the sky above

Flying or trying to make sense of what is happening whereas the world around him understands him not

Towed not for the semblance of irrational behaviour then maybe I am not ready to get into them yet

Like magic in a world of nuisance foreign pestilence anointed high to become the night...

Now where would I be looking at if only the world be much kinder and of respect

For this silent traveller in a world of hurt could it be that this place has overstayed my welcome?

Or wary too much am I to trust my heart to trust Humanity again, for better or worst?

Then perhaps this wanderer may now take his leave for the mountains of madness, forsooth?

Nevertheless, I'm tired of being torn out of the worlds of me and the world at large

So perhaps may I now be excused to finally rip myself out of this tug-of-war bizarre

Of finding my way fiery in the dark of the hopeless nights for a candle still burning in the breeze

To find me in still and instilled with the quest for a brighter day, singed and fried in sunset

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

Late-Night Redemptions

The days and the years they crept up to me and then left like I wasn't even there

Time and again I would swear that Time is indeed my only sworn enemy

But what of the lessons it gives us about Life and the unknown?

Is there really an answer to everything that I'd sought and lost?

For now we have come to the month that ever I did feel cold on the onset of flowers

The day much told for the days and the months and the years to come round full circle again

Yet not too heartfelt to the likes of me of whether I did like it or not to come to past

For there was never a winter too cold than a time unawaiting for a child at heart...

And now I figured that Life and Time just gets too weird and outlandish for even this me

For yet have I seen the answer to a question I most sought after its terminus, its ending

And that concerns of why am I still living even long after I've searched for reasons I should

For it seems that even I could see that time and day did spiral and still spirals to no end!

Why indeed, that I still keep on living long after any semblance of a sort for any reason at all to live

Had since disappeared like stories of old from ruins of moss and weed, and I am still alone in this one

Am I really am the living dead of a purpose that drags on his feet for a future no reason could describe?

Or maybe I'm already dead but dreaming still like some cosmic tentacled god of one twisted mad Arab?

So indeed this way is the way for me to wend my way still 

To celebrate the birthday of a Life that maybe not meant to be

For the one who lived only til the 90's but still exists somewhat at present

In a form devoid of hope and maybe devoid of Life, seeking for God for late-night redemptions...

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

Another Weird Journey

Oh so this is must some other deeds so sane utmost for flipping fliers for dichotomy banished

So why are they musing of me for all that's untrusted? If there not be futile stupidity foreclosed then please show me the door!

For even if they'd allow me a safe passage forever indented with flowers or mulched with fresh bullshit, or spiringing hope from none

I could never hold them for justice or golden meadows a-banished, for this life no more be a-wasting so blatant for immediate action

So might now all be so silent and quiet but maybe twice solemn, and thrice be vendetta I could never forgive myself for march of the centuries

For it is never so sullying to think that this is all coming to an end real soon, for better or bitter pills of Life I have to swallow still, hard and so pretty

And now maybe I am ready to push all my fears for all of my life I've lived a constant fool for a mammalian warmth in the blackened snow

Too crazy for this nothing for quiet loss of smelting forlorn I am coming harder for myself in this dreadful tempt of a lacy promise

And so I end my life with a whiff of aftersmoke for a nasty retch date due for a century or two or limited stuff  free focused to ram home

That doesn't make it sweeter than it really isn't for no more great homage to humanity this me for free 'til the morning comes

Or maybe I'm too slow to realize the wake of another nightstalking this madness it brought me while I'm half in wakefulness

Oh so sorry for the riches of choice or the lack of some happy bones fried legs for another weird jouney

For this weepy whiny schmuck of a character is now prepping himself for a date...with destiny...

SAIFUL NIZAM SHUKOR

KL

2013

Between Death And The Lifeless

How many more years must it be before I take on the world for all that I'm worth?

How many wilted heartaches and veiled deception must I tear off before I see the light for once?

Oh so these music so still and playing they are in my head and heart for as long as I can remember

But for what else is in store that prevented me from going on stronger, a dagger much poisoned on their backs for all that I see!

But inside of me I still wish to function like a rotorblade indirecting for all that I care or may care

That brought pain and tears for not of the lame excuses carried along with me forever in a spiral

But forsooth maybe this is not the reason to carry with me for the continuation of my life

Or so recall then this smile for the self that I have left behind that ages past they did tell me of him

And how beautiful is the indescribable when I first saw the world like a huge mystery puzzle awaiting completion...

I herald now the end of nothing, for the beginning of nothing that culminates towards nothing

But for what today it did bring to my glowing white screen there's nothing more special than time and space

For the joint collateral damages between heaven and hell and reality and fantasy here I am now alone, playing a song of joy

For the believing masses of impudence I seek not of mankind but still they found me in abundance, en masse along the way from there to eternity...

And for this be the wall of time it speaks a lot of punk for me to colour my grunge of a world of luckiness indebted

For the jazz in the quiet room of darkness herald much metal to fall from the sky like a rock in a hard place

Or maybe I'm too darkened for my own good for all that is fancy and all that I made up? A guy so crazed and locked between two worlds that never he did so badly wanted

For starting a war he never did create nor so blessed of it, sliding fast through much mindlessness on a high to the highway of darkness between death and the lifeless...

SAIF MINTAKA 

KL

11th of February, 2013

A Toast For The Senses

Sing low for the snow of parting, on this eve of the deadened sorrow I sear this heart in place of woes

For this scene of appraising it raised me up for the parlour of instances, in droves they came annexed

On this sullied sweet rapture of nothing in blazes now pray for me or try to stay still as the twilight falls

For this me still singe the tides of morrow for the faith of non borrowed to this end will this I be stopped

So no more would one find now this me still sighing on tombstones of old; or forests so shadowed, this much I'd concur

For whither would someone be on time for such pleasantries, than when it is time to say out one's will?

Then it seems for this me I'd still be alone without any much hope or without any real friends, deeply carved on my heart

And sang in brief for deepened grief but none will dry up my wall of water for the place to call home, or a face to feel owned by

And thus I'd sing such laments for this glowing white screen of a blogging much heretics, too late to did know of why did he did that

And strobed and frilly now be this lighting of fallacy on honour much piety for this swaying moment of discerning darkness, a toast for the senses

And to all I wish a good earned twilight for rest and recuperation, for this me still walks the earth in grief and in joy, and this joyful black mixture of sorrow he drinks

To which dark ends he won't mind for the sellout of great chances, of him for his God as he wails at the moon, at the moment before the storm...

SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

The Path of Light And Darkness

Forget it, for this screen has much whiteness but all I feel is nothing in particular

For it's been a long time passing since I've felt the need to tell everything, to feel everything

But what price the scene of contempt for the one who didn't know why he was wronged?

Is there any illusion left to tell me that all I've ever been through is false, so wrong and mere made-up?

Alas these too will give up for home these words these ideas these writings on the screen

For whereas the stubby went still with their lives I still feel wrong to the touch, mere but out-of-place

But still nobody looks at to where I was looking, nobody sees anything or its value as what it is

So is this the madness it comes for the one who thinks too much but did so little?

So what is it that I'm asking myself as to whether or not I see it or but pretending?

Is there a word to describe it or maybe none of the words in this world would matter themselves to me?

Am I still relevant in this world when I feel that nobody saw me in this thing called Life, still out-of-place

So awkward still clumsy but to this middle 30's, why am I still finding it hard to feel in-tune with this world?

Alas, even these words and these knowledge these skills seem to have stopped being so friendly to me

Like I've never even know how to write and read in the first place yet they still be written by me right now

Oh fuzzy, wuzzy insanity in detachment, or so perhaps it could be that I'm being thrown from this world

And so if that's the case then where should I go from here then?

Where could there be in this Kingdom of God that my kind be as safe and so accepted as norm?

Would there be hope still that I'd be there in time, or could this be the end of me in place not of me?

Oh holler for me this hollow still hallowed but for never be borrowed let this be mind of me the path I must take

For if such this be true that I'm not born for this place and time, then let me now go to the paths of light and darkness

And to stay within there, in peace and in mourn
In prayer and in despair, for all that I am 

Forever...

SAIF MINTAKA
KL
2013

A Failure In Goodbyes

What if you'd believe, that I am a dreamer, for all of my dreams be ashes and dirt?

What price should be put, on all of my honesty, in the world where money is god?

Is there room left for the innocent, the naive, the unassuming, to carve one's own life?

Or should they just now carve, their name on their stones, so cold and so gleaming?

Alas it shook much scare to the core, to see that this coil be mortally living

When all that he's made of are mere sweet distractions, a fraction of what's his

When life met him so boldly, and smiles greeted him so densely, for all and each sunrise

A mellow sighing for the purest of white, like the clouds for the sun, a noon for all seasons

Now there's none but the dead, though life clings to him still

Already in backwards, this once so brazen a life in searching

For the gilded jewel a ruby of fire, a sapphire of gleams

And an emerald of soiree, for a solitude so jubilant!

So now he's so one but the screens of his scribbler

Together in brief for another night's out, or another frail clout

For here are the dead time for a future foreclosing, in deeds of no flesh or the red from his tears

For another late stopping, this time he's not dear, as to what might not been, should today be tomorrow...

And so this wailing of inwards be no ears would so picked up, for the clandestine his fate in nobody's knowing

And so this dusk hailing, arriving in dust, would now be his mark, for the world he so loathed yet leaving he's so lost

And too little would he be, in the hands of Almighty, for the dripping of dim candles, his dreams the living tethers, be they holding him place

In deep and in agony, so low but so long, like damnations a-calling, to him this would do, for a failure in goodbyes...

THE SIGN OF SHAIRO

KL

2013

Far From The Norms

So long I have seen the greatness of light, of brightly majestic warm streaking bewildered of stars

For though indeed I am what I'd call a Silent Traveler, this much is known for my love of the vast

And how I yearn to traverse the cosmos, so beauteous so rare much light and more awestruck

For quickly I could travel the light and the void, so much so damn faster I'd speed off my starting!

I know of all places there lies in the fringes, of galaxies and clusters so radiant in gases

And for all such is Life may they be in much of them, such stars oh so brightly so teeming with them!

Indeed I did know for when I did stare, those pictures so much oh civilised are they of intelligence

For how would they perceive the universe around them, or how would they wonder if they were alone?

For this be mine dreams for lifetimes to come, this once and great dreamer oh me in the flesh

Alighting from fancy for reveries that's far from the norms, this world I would trade for a sojourn in stars

To meet all for once the life all out there, in planets like us or others too weirdly, for this I'd sit still

No suns no dry moons be I'd left unexplored, for a world in great glee from this within me!

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

2013

A Sigh For The Dreamer Still

So now, after all the celebrations are over, there was calm, and there was coldness

Indeed the moment is gone the crowds have dispersed, saved for their garbage and stuffs no longer useful

Oh indeed 'tis me who did stay and did watched all the light shows and noises, now on the silenced it reign as a few they did linger

For a moment to savour before heading home for bed, exhausted at best, smiling or the like, for this once a year fanfare that has since gone to memory...

So what did make me to stay when all the others are gone? To watch the garbage men hauling up what was left of their dreams?

So is this be normal to me to see all their wishes and joys be dead on wet grass? And to know they'll be back when another year ends?

What is it that I feel when I looked at the sky still? Was there a notion I've passed that I need to relook? Or perhaps some comfort to know that I did once went home?

Oh it seems to me this drama unfolded then folded twice played at are wondrous at best, sweet nothing for the senses, a sigh for a dreamer still, in search for some solace...

So then this me he got up and wend on his way for a transport for home, to place but his face on a pillow of nothing, dreaming insanity

For a place so far yet its presence still strong, of a final day's journey for the home of his soul, the hearth of his mind, the couch of his heart

The place not of native but naively he pursued, like a purposeful life in the mired solution, for all his woes and sadness despaired

A land not of dirt, that cradled an edifice not in stone, of lawns and gates so golden like fancy, of faces of family no blemish no pain, and no torment of word to scare my will still

A home I did made, a place called the Future...

SAIF MINTAKA

KL

1st January 2013